Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I love having hate sex.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
