And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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