i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize