woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
