I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
