he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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