i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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