look no pants
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
