i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
