Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
