I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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