I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You pole danced in your parka.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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