The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
