i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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