Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
