I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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