so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
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I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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