i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
