When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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