just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
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I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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