New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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