Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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