If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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