One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
