He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
