at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
