Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
