I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize