He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
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30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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