Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
