I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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