Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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