All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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