im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
