somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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