also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
