im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think my fart just growled at me.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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