so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
