his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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