You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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