So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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