dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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