I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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