Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
