I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
