He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
