Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
