So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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