you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
