I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
