Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
