I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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