Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
