I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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