my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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