Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
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is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
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Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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