There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
