I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
