Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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