peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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