just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
