No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
