hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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