I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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