we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
