My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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