there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
