Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
